Avoiding her by fading to black and not returning her calls, responding to her texts, or ignoring her all together, makes a bad situation worse. Let her know you need a moment before talking with her. Don’t leave her hanging. Commit to talk within a day or two.

Too many good relationships are going bad due to one too many hateful and hurtful messages. The angrier you get the more relentless you become. You’re so upset your emotions are fueled by negativity. You can’t eat. You can’t sleep. You run out of gas, only to fill up again and gain more uncontrollable momentum. At this point, you are reckless and dangerous.

He hurt you and you want to get his ass back. You stick the degrading dagger in his back, pull it out, then jab him once more. Tears of blood pour from her eyes. Mission accomplished. Your lover is wounded. But you didn’t mean it. You’re sorry. You beg them to come back. You make up by having the best sex you’ve ever had.

Neither of you have healed because you haven’t resolved your issues. One innocent word misunderstood (or his look lingers too long in another woman’s direction) and you stab him repeatedly with insult after insult. He pours salt on your open wounds to stop your madness. Before you know it, you’re right back where you started. Neither of you want to say goodbye but neither one of you are truly happy.

You’re both hanging from a tight-rope and both of you refuse to let go. When you’re all cried out, you uncurl your fingers one at a time until the last pinky is worn to the bone. Now you guys hate that you love one another. Love doesn’t have to be complicated when you respect the person you’re with.

Every couple needs life preservers. Here’s what HoneyB recommends:

1. You’ll need a voicemail/memo that only you can access. Use your phone to record all those messages you want to send her/him.
2. Text yourself the messages you want to send her/him.
3. Don’t delete the messages. Read or listen to each one of them.
4. Listening to how hurtful your messages are should make you feel worse than the person you would’ve sent it to. That’s only if you truly love them.
5. Apologize (and mean it).

An apology goes a long way. But usually people are too angry and unwilling to admit when they’re at fault. Or you say you’re sorry when you’re honestly not. You simply want the other person to let the argument go.

Don’t drown in pride. I don’t care how well you can swim, when there is turbulence in your love life, a relationship preserver can keep you afloat.

#TeamBhonest . Join my HoneyBHonest movement by simply keeping it real.

$20.00

Pre-shrunk 98% combed and ring-spun cotton/2% spandex 50 singles 4 ounce super soft sheer mini rib knit t-shirt with deep v-neck. Cap sleeves.

All the shopping you’ve done over your lifetime, have you ever bought your pussy a present?  Do you have a workout routine for your vagina? Do you have an intimate relationship with your punany?

It doesn’t matter what you call her.  If you’ve answered ‘No’ to any of the above questions, you need a pussy intervention.  Stop suppressing your secretions.  Begin exercising your vagina today.

Simply spreading your legs and having sex does not count.  Even if you’re doing jumping jacks on a pogo-dick, if your pussy is a flapjack, you and your partner are missing out on the ultimate sexual experience.

I promised to tell you how to make your punany do tricks and I will.  But the more I thought about it, I realized most women don’t do kegel crunches.  So how can I teach anyone how to ‘Rope Him & Ride Him,’ if there is no motion inside the saddle?

Instead of trying to cram tricks into one HoneyBlog, I’m going to make Pucker Up an on-going blog.  That way, when I give you a tool, you’ll have time to learn how to use it before we move on to the next phase.

We can all have sex. We can all dance.  But  you don’t become a performer without training.  Pucker Up 1, is intended to teach you how to exercise and tighten your vagina.  When listening to music, you’ll start making your pussy dance and this will be your theme song: Trouble!  Skilled pussy will definitely get you in Trouble.

How to do Kegel Exercises:  I could simply recommend that you remember to do my suggested 5 sets of 20 reps 3 times a day by contracting and relaxing your vaginal muscles . . . but most of you will forget by the time you’re done reading my blog.  Kegel exercises are effective but adding pearls is more advantageous.  Once you’ve got the hang of it, I want your pussy to dance whenever you hear music.

Every Woman needs a set of Pleasure Pearls (or Ben-Wa Balls)

Like Ben-Wa Balls, Pleasure Pearls are used to strengthen Vaginal Muscles.  I personally prefer the pearls because the metal balls are plastic coated.  Ben-Wa balls are metal with no coating.  Whatever works best for you is okay, but if your pussy is sensitive, definitely buy the pearls.

$20.00 [price includes shipping & handling]

Order yours now!  Or race to your local pleasure store.  It doesn’t matter where you buy them as long as you get yours before they’re all gone!

My instructions for using Pleasure Pearls and/or Ben-Wa balls:

1.  For all of you, “I already know this HoneyB fans,” be patient with the women who need to know this.  I’ll get to you in Pucker Up 2!

2.  Finding your pubococcygeus muscle, commonly called the PC muscle or as I like to call it for ladies your ‘pussy control’ muscle is simple. The muscles you contract to stop the flow of urine are your PC muscles.  Try this the next time you use the restroom.

3.  Before inserting your pearls, you must wash them with a toy cleanser or mild soap and rinse thoroughly. Whenever your balls come out, wash and rinse before re-inserting.

4.  Insert one ball at a time. If you’re not used to inserting pearls or if you’re having trouble, elevate one foot on a chair. You can also insert them while lying on your back. When I first started many years ago, I would lay on my bed and used the tube that came with my Vagisil kit to push the balls deep into the cul-de-sac of my vagina. You can use your finger or your dildo.  Your objective is to make sure the pearls are well inserted so they don’t fall out (at least not right away).

5,  Squeeze your PC muscles to begin exercising.  The great thing about pearls is your pussy will love them.  Most women’s muscles contract automatically after the pearls are in.

6.  If you’re doing your kegel exercise without pearls or balls, make sure you focus on the PC muscle and not the shaft or sphincter muscle.  If you’re into anal sex, then by all means you should squeeze the sphincter too but alternate and isolate between the PC and the sphincter.  Anal sex is an advance Pucker Up level.  If you’re an anal virgin, don’ t give your anal virginity to just any guy.

7.  If your muscles are weak, the balls may fall out. Don’t give up.  The more you exercise the stronger your PC muscles become.  Eventually you’ll be able to hold and control your pearls and move them up and down without losing them (especially during urination).

8.  CAUTION!  When you relax your PC muscles (especially be careful when using the restroom) they may fall out. Whenever you push, you’re pushing the balls out. Eventually you will learn how to relax and contract your PC muscles at the same time but it’s best to remove the balls before having a bowel movement.

9.  Please catch your pearls if feel them falling.  Better rinse off your own urine than to let your pearls go down the toilet.  Also, they are pearls and they can break if they hit a hard surface.

10.  Can you leave them in during sex?  Absolutely!  You and your partner may experience extra pleasure.  If you try leaving them in during sex and your uncomfortable, take them out.

11.  GOOD NEWS!  You can keep your pearls in for hours if you’d like but do not sleep with them inside your vagina.

12.  Removing the balls isn’t always easy. You’re training your PC muscles to be strong but you must also learn how to relax your muscles. In most cases, let it happen naturally.  If that doesn’t work, you may need to sneeze, cough, or insert lubrication then sit and bear down to get them out.  You can also insert your finger into your vagina, pull to one side to create an opening (or escape route) for your pearls to come out.  Eventually, instead of popping out pearls, you’ll be spitting out a dick.

13.  It’s not possible for the balls to travel inside your body from the vagina so don’t worry about them getting lost or coming out of your navel.  That won’t happen unless your uterus has a hole it.  In that case (which I’ve never heard of) you need medical attention, not pearls.

14.  Consistent use will aide you in mastering pussy trick #1 aka 101, The Pulsating Pussy.  One day you’ll be surprised.  When you climax, your pussy should indeed pulsate repeatedly.  You man will love this as he’ll feel it too.

15.  Pearls bring Pleasure.  Regular use generally improves sex for you, and your partner should begin to notice that you’re tighter.

16.  NEVER HAD AN ORGASM?  Strengthening your Pussy Control muscles may help you to have your first.

17.  I advocate doing your PC exercises to increase sexual pleasure.  The greatest benefit you’ll receive is strengthening your pelvic floor and not having a leaky bladder as you get older.

18.  WARNING:  Both pearls and balls contains metal.  Do not wear either if you must go through a metal detector, (i.e., courthouse, TSA checkpoint at the airport, etc.).  I forgot to take mine out once.  Almost missed my flight.

This is HONEYB, signing off on this issue of Pucker Up! The upcoming issue is, Pucker Up 2:  Spit-N-Swallow

Soulmates Dissipate the movie will be in theaters in 2013.

It’s almost every author’s dream to see their characters come to life on the big screen. But how do we get there? There aren’t many authors you can ask that can give you first-hand advice.

Here’s my story. This is how I got a seven-film deal with Leslie Small, director/producer and Jeff Clanagan, CEO of Codeblack Entertainment. Not only that, I’m also Executive Producer on my deal.

I believed Soulmates Dissipate would become a film when I self-published my book in June of 2000. Readers immediately started asking, “When is the movie coming out?” Having fans see what I saw was a great beginning. I know other writers are asked the same question. I’m not the only author with fans that want to see their books become movies. So how did it happen for me?

In 2010, I set aside $50,000 to produce my first stage play, based on my novel Single Husbands. The same year, my son Jesse Byrd, graduated from UC Santa Barbara and applied to USC Film School. It’s not unusual not to get accepted into USC the first time. Jesse’s passion for film and television contributed greatly to what would become a mother-and-son stage production. Jesse co-executive produced the play and co-wrote the script for Single Husbands.

During casting, Tameka Bouyer graced the stage and auditioned for a lead role. The director was sure she wasn’t best suited and wanted to cast someone else. I believed in Tameka and made an executive decision that she would play the lead role of Michelle.

To celebrate Tameka, we went to lunch. Tameka and I had a mutual friend. Our mutual friend had a houseguest in town that weekend and asked me if it were okay to invite her to join us.

During lunch, our friend’s houseguest, Dawn C. Mallory, discovered I was an author. Dawn gave me her contact information and asked that I send her a few copies of my novels. She said, “I have a friend who is a director and he’s looking for books to base films on.”

To myself, I said, “Yeah, right. Here we go again. Another person claiming to have the Hollywood hookup.” I’d been down the road of directors wanting to make my book a movie but they didn’t have a budget. Then there were screenwriters quoting me $50,000 – $60,000 to write the screenplay for Soulmates Dissipate but they didn’t know a single director, actor, producer, or investor to back the script.

A week went by and Dawn called. “Hey, did you send the books? I want to read them.” I hadn’t even packaged the books. So I went home, boxed up four novels, and put the box in my trunk.

Another week passed and Dawn called again. “Hey, did you mail them yet? If they’re good I want to get them to him right away.”

At this point I began to believe that Dawn was serious. I mailed the novels the same day. She read them immediately. Loved the Soulmates Dissipate series and told me she was giving them to the director, Leslie Small. That was the first time I knew what director she was referring to.

Leslie called me. He loved my work. Before moving forward, he said, “We have to meet face-to-face. I want to produce the entire seven book series. It doesn’t matter how great the work is. This is a huge project and if we don’t like each other, it won’t work.”

We met and instantly liked one another. Leslie and Dawn introduced me to Jeff Clanagan and we had a platform that everyone embraced. Leslie, Jeff, my son, and I went to New York and met with the executive staff at Kensington Publishing Corporation.

The collaboration is amazing and everyone is excited about the film deal.

Your dots represent the work you’ve done. Your dots are already in place. You don’t always know how or when they’re going to connect. It’s strategic like a game of pool. Knock down the 8-ball too soon and you’ll lose. Keep creating new dots because they may be your catalyst to bridge the gap.

My new dot was the stage play. My best advice to each of you is to invest, re-invest, and always believe in yourself.

There’s no secret to success. It’s like gambling. Hit the wrong ball at the wrong time and your dream may never come true. What should have been in the pocket is now on the floor. If you’ve dropped the ball, pick it up. Don’t wait for someone else to make you successful.

Keep your eyes on the 8-ball. The 8-ball represents your dreams. See it. Imagine it. Have a vision. Have and implement a plan for your life.

As long as the 8-ball is on the table, you’ve always got a shot.

STOP the Madness Men! 4Real Why should a woman have your baby?

Are you willing to pay $138,000 in advance of her getting pregnant to reassure her you can handle the financial responsibility that accompanies having your child? I doubt it. Do you have another $138,000 for on-going child support? Even if you do more than likely you’d rather have the car of your dream than to spend it supporting your kid.

Then what exactly are you going to give her besides your dick and your sperm?

Broke, cheap, and/or selfish men should have a vasectomy or fuck themselves. At least that way she won’t have to foot your “baby” bill. The bottom line is babies cost $$$,$$$.  Rearing kids require time and money.

Child support should be mandated at conception not at incarceration.  And men should have to pay an upfront deposit to fuck a woman. Now if a guy has sex with another guy, then it’s okay for him to be broke because men can’t have babies.

Why should a woman have to pay for medical insurance, prenatal pills, time off from her job for doctor visits or morning sickness. Heaven forbid she has to be on bed rest for months to keep from losing the baby.

Then there’s the delivery, maternity leave, day care, before and after childcare, tuition, etc. She deals with all of this while her sperm donor denies the baby is his so he doesn’t have to . . . pay child support.

His trifling ass is eager to hit it while the woman is pregnant because he’s heard pregnant pussy is a delicacy and (for the obvious) she can’t get pregnant. When the baby is born and it’s time to be a man, few men man up.

Ladies, don’t have kids for losers that can’t afford them.

The sex may be the best you’ve ever had but don’t agree if a guy says, “I want you to have my baby.” Please understand that men who talk shit just to get laid don’t care about you.

Ladies here are a few things you need to consider before getting pregnant:

• Is he a man of his word? Or does he casually mention things that he never commits to? This is a major component of a man’s character.
• What’s his relationship with his mother?
• Beginning with the first date, how well does he treat you?
• How many kids does he have and how does he support them?
• Can he afford to financially support a child or will you have to do it alone?

What a man is willing to do is different from what he has the ability to do and both are separate from what he actually does. If he’s driving your car, living in your place, making plans with your money, at best he’s ready to be a stay-at-home mom.

Ladies beware.  Some men start out paying for things because they believe you’re going to eventually pick up the tab.  Before you know it.  You’re supporting him.

Several men have asked me to have their baby.  I was clear. That ignorant shit was not happening. They didn’t want to raise a child. They wanted to slow me down from traveling, partying, writing at bars/restaurants several days a week, and enjoying life without them. Men know that happy independent secure women have options.

The best and fastest way to take away a woman’s freedom is to get her pregnant.

Deal with having a baby like it’s a business arrangement. Stop opening your legs without protection.  If he doesn’t want to wrap it up, tell him you need $138,000. Make sure the check clears before you conceive.

The average cost of providing for a child is $12,000 a year.  So you need what we call in the literary world, an advance.  From diapers to diplomas,  $12K x 23 (because you can collect child support while your child is in college (if your address is the primary) is $276,000.

The next time a man says, “Let’s go half on a baby,” ask him for 50% up front.  That’s the $138,000.  If you don’t mind having his baby, He shouldn’t have a problem writing the check.  If his azz can’t afford to or he’s not willing to be a parent, then he needs to keep it real.

If you end up pregnant, you need to keep it real.  Can you afford to take care of his baby by yourself?  Do you want to pay for diapers and diplomas by yourself?  Yes, that’s the worse case scenario but lots of men go MIA or fade to black and don’t give a damn about how the mother will provide for his child.

If you walk down the aisle, don’t marry a broke guy. If you get pregnant, no matter what he says don’t hesitate to take him to court for child support.

Too many men are full of excuses.  It was all good while he was knee deep in the pussy but the second a woman says, “I’m pregnant,” he’s back paddling.  “Oh she trapped me.” Married men are making babies out of wedlock then blaming the mistress. Single guys are fucking for fun then denying their responsibility.

A man thinks with his dick. Women have to stay a step ahead of the head.  If you get pregnant, broke dick will cost you over a quarter of a million dollars.

If a man has to pay to play, trust HoneyB, he’d make better decisions.

This one is a pathological liar. That one is a habitual cheater. The other one wants you to pursue him. The married one claims he’s unhappy, he loves you, and he’s leaving his wife . . . for you. The one that’s content is broke.

Chase a man and you’ll trip over your own shoelaces the entire relationship. When you accept mediocre ladies, prepare yourself for mayhem and misery. Fact, if you give a man your power, you’ll never be his #1.

I’m hearing more men say that they don’t want to take care of a woman. They want a woman that’s got her own. They don’t mind doing their share (whatever that is). But if they support a woman, men want to know what’s in it for them? Even married men sit on the couch while their wife go to work, take care of the kids, cook, clean, and at the end of the night he wants to have sex. These types of men need to screw themselves.

What happened to real men?

A man should invite you out, show you a good time and pay the bills. Yes, bills with an “s.” When the date ends, he should say, “I’ll call you later.” He shouldn’t tell you, “Call me.” If a man isn’t willing to dial your number, take you out, and get to know you, his objective is transparent. All he wants to do is ejaculate inside of you.

He’s not putting bread on the table but he wants to eat your cuisine. When his idea of a first date is coming over to your house, eating your food, sucking up your alcohol, and dangling his dick in your face, you’ve got nothing to gain from this loser. #honeybhonest. Keep it moving to the next man.

If a man has no plan for his future, trust me, there is no way he’ll take care of you or a family. If you settle for mediocre, you’ll work harder at the relationship than he will. Basically you become the man and he takes on the roll of the woman.

Some women would rather have a trifling ass man than to have no man at all. They lay awake at night crying because he’s not home. They search his cell phone, computer, and pockets to discover what they already know. He’s cheating. Truth is, you shouldn’t have taken yourself off the market.

Ladies, a man does not define you; he compliments you by adding value to the relationship. But if you’re not careful and you’re not clear about what you want, you’ll never be satisfied. You must identify and adhere to your non-negotiable standards.

Now your list shouldn’t be a hundred items long. However, you should have at least five things you refuse to compromise on. Mine are:

1. I refuse to date Broke and/or Cheap Men. They piss me off.

2. Men without active goals for their future are going nowhere and I refuse to get on that train and wait for it to wreck.

3. Selfish men can’t even kiss my ass. If it’s all about him, he can fuck himself.

4. Liars. Cheaters. Abusers. They’re all pathetic assholes.

5. Horrible hygiene. If his mouth smells like his ass, he’s out!

My seventh grade teacher Ms. Mimms, told us, “Ladies, a man will only do what you allow him to do.” I’ve never forgotten her words. When my husband acted a fool and put his hands on me, I divorced his ass. The only thing that can’t be changed ladies is death.

“You’ll never find. As long as you live . . .” Some men tell you dumb shit like this to brainwash you into believing they’re the best you’ll ever have. Or they say no one is going to want you because you’re fat, ugly, lazy, blah, blah, blah nigga. Stop lying! He’s afraid you’re going to leave him so his objective is to see how low he can make you go in order to keep you chasing his sorry ass.

I know men think I’m bashing them. Those are the men that want to get over on women. It’s easy for womanizers to take advantage of women with low self-esteem.

A friend of mine told me, “I’ve slowed down on cheating because women are too complicated. I tell them I’m in a relationship and they still get attached. All I want to do is fuck.” I appreciated his honesty. Lots of men think the same.

My question is, “Why do men who cheat bother to commit?” What happened to the men that labored for love? Men that took care of their kids? Respected their woman? Men who didn’t believe in divorce?

Today, men take pride in being supported by women. They hold their hand and dick out while holding their head high. He might start off paying for a date or two but a few dates in he’s expecting you to pick up the tab and suck his dick. Really dude? Tell him to suck his own dick. See how that works out for him.

What’s your reality? Are you paying the bills, cooking the meals, tea-bagging his nuts, while complaining about him? Why should he leave you? And when you’re done with him, he’s on to the next female. You’ve already been replaced and you’re the last one to find out.

Don’t take yourself off the market ladies unless he’s worthy. If he’s mediocre, fuck him where you find him and leave him where you fuck him. But make sure you get yours first and that includes the Big O!

Women rule. That’s a fact. Men know it. But they don’t want women to know how much power we possess. You can’t make a man be a man. Either he is or he isn’t.

A man that’s interested in you will call you. He’ll plan the dates. If he takes you out, he wants to get in between your legs. That’s understood. If sex is what you want, go for it. But be clear that you’re setting the tone for what’s to cum.

How can you be sure he’s the one and he’s not mediocre? Don’t forget your non-negotiables. Get to know him. Learn what’s important to him. If he doesn’t measure up to your standards, don’t waste your time. If his looks, his car, or his possessions are the highlights of his life, you’ll never shine in his eyes. It’s all about him.

When a man is serious, he offers you stability. When he freely shares what he has, he cares about you. When he loves you, he’ll show (and tell) you.

Don’t take the lead. That’s the man’s responsibility. When he takes himself off the market . . . if you’re ready, it’s time to take yourself off the market too. . .but don’t you dare take yourself off the market first!

Like it or not, men need to face the reality that their dick cums with a limited warranty. Some have thirty or forty years before they start to show wear and tear. Their erections may be strong but they’re less frequent and don’t last as long. Other dicks clunk out at fifty or sixty. Then there are a few lemons (premies) that unfortunately will never work well.

The misconception for men is they all believe it’s never going to happen to them. Their dick is the exception. Their grandfather is 100-years-old and his dick works like a teenager. They’ve never turned down anything except their collar. They lie to get pussy. They constantly cheat. They want to have their woman and somebody else’s too. These guys believe their dick will work the same forever.

When reality kicks in, so does denial.

They find themselves relying on techniques like breastfeeding until the nipple is raw and finger fucking until their arm damn near falls off. That’s when we women have to hear, “Your pussy is too tight.” Or, “You’re dry.” Truth is, he’s not getting the pussy wet. He’s frustrated and his woman is too. She has to fantasize about that tall handsome guy at her job, the fine ass youngster at the grocery store, or her favorite Hollywood sex symbol to get juicy . . . for you.

When we have to listen to bullshit like, “I’m tired of running around. I’ve partied enough. I’m ready to settle down,” what he’s really saying is, “My dick doesn’t work like it used to and I can’t put the head in.”

For guys who disrespect their dick, you’d better save up for more than a sandwich and a salad because you will need to pay for pussy.

Some men have put so many miles on their dick that their stroke is handicapped. No matter how much pussy he gets, he’ll never be the same as he was in his earlier years.

His dick can no longer recover without a defibrillator, mouth-to-head resuscitation, a penis pump, Viagra, or Cialis. If he’s taking the supplement route, he’d better pray he doesn’t go blind, have to stay at home with a 24-hour erection, or worse, die of a heart attack.

Perhaps if men tuned up their dick as often as they tuned up their car, both would serve them well beyond the expected lifetime. But most men never exercise their dick because they don’t feel they have to. Others simply don’t know how to.

Guys spend countless hours working out in the gym but zero time doing dick curls. Stop ignoring your dick until it’s time to have sex. Fellas, drop a towel on your shaft while you’re in the shower. If the wet towel is too heavy to curl, or your dick is too big to lift, wrap the towel around your shaft and let it hang there. Eventually, your dick will get stronger and you’ll be able to lift the towel. Do this often and you may get an inch or two out of the deal.

Don’t have to wait until you shower to improve your manhood. Whenever you take a leak, stop the flow of your urine three times. This exercises your sphincter muscle and makes the base of your dick stronger and improves penetration. Your foundation should be hard like cement not soft like quicksand. Your commitment to your dick today will determine if it will be strong or flaccid tomorrow.

My recommendations will get you the extra mileage you deserve but just like the finest automobile, eventually the major parts will breakdown. But since you can’t replace your dick like you can an engine, men if you’re smart, you’ll invest in the Pussy Pension Plan (PPP).

All you have to do is respect your woman. Keep her first. Show her you love her. Treat her well on the regular not just when you screw up or screw around. We know no one is perfect. When you men think you’re in control and you degrade your woman, eventually you’ll end up having to fuck yourself.

And guess what? Even your hand will get pissed off with your dick when it has to do the stroking for you and you never get hard.

Ladies express yourself. Don’t hesitate to tell a man, “No PPP, don’t fuck with me.”

Men, if you decide not to take my advice and invest in a PPP, well just hold on to your pension and your penis and get ready to eat lots of pussy.